21.3.13 @ [
12:16 AM]
нαиγα тυнαи вϊѕα мзмϊѕαнкαи кϊтα
20th March 2013, the night I'll never forget.
I got beaten up by the man that I thought could shower me with love .
His always putting his dull face & obviously , I'm not happy with it .
I want him to be happy & have fun with me even though we are in our rough ways .
His not happy with whatever comments or feedbacks given, kept & accumulate all .
That's it , he gave me all in 1 shot .
Numerous time of punches straight at the both side of my face , in front of my face , my shoulder area .
Whatever I shared with him about the story within my ex-boyfriend & me , he makes my history to reality .
I blackout & can't see anything .
I rest my body on the bench & again he pull me up , punching me again & again .
Yes he dare to put his hand on my face now when no one is around to protect me .
I wonder if he dare to do it in front of my father , uncles , his father , his brother ?
Alhamdullillah god still protect me & give me the strength to carry on my life or I'll faint right away .
Lucky my left eye is only swollen & not blind .
I'm suppose to go work tomorrow morning but how to ?
My face doesn't look like normal human face .
Honestly , my heart sank right away .
His suppose to protect me , not abuse me just like others .
Doesn't mean my previous ex-es lay their hand on me , so do he .
He beat me because of my wrongs , I'm fine with it but what makes my heart totally sank is , he came to me & punch my face then shouted at me asking who did I whatsapp when he knows I whatsapp nobody .
After which I found out , he created this whatsapp scene just to follow my ex-es in terms of controlling , scolding & beating .
Which means he shouted at me about the whatsapp thing for no reason , just to have a point to bash me up .
Sumpah hati aku hancur .
I'm living my life with a dangerous man .
He can just punch me without thinking of a woman weakness till my nose bleeds & flow like tap water .
I wanted to go home but thinking of my family kept saying " susah je balik " , I made up my mind to live my life on my own .
I don't care on where I'm going , where I'm gonna sleep as long as I'm away from those dangerous humans & be safe .
He then say , dah gini baru ingat nak balik .
Like again , I won't go home to make my parent think that I'm home sebab dah susah .
I wanted to whatsapp mama & let all out .
To let her know that I'm in pain , badly .
Every position I slept , semue nye sakit .
Like I did every night looking at the stars , the sky whispering to god asking him to protect me , place me in a safe place , put me far away with bad company .
Dear Allah ,
Please protect me , my girl & my family .
Bring us to the right path .
Don't get us near to anything that's not good .
Amin !
I'm trying to place myself in a nice position so that I can sleep peacefully but . . .
Pusing sane tak kene , pusing sini tak kene .
Hmm ~
Well , good night dear diary .
I'll blog again when I have new story to update ya .
Take care . .
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нея ωояδѕ • нзя ѕαγ ♥
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November 2008
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