26.10.10 @ [
6:15 PM]
нαиγα тυнαи вϊѕα мзмϊѕαнкαи кϊтα
just woke up from bed .
waken up by dearest mother asking me to help her pin her tudung .
haiyo ~
dah tuh cakap die tak selesa coz aku pin tak macam selalu , kali ni like tak ikhlas .
ape saje mother .
maybe baru bangun tidur lah .
orang baru bangun tidur kan lembik .
now im really having pening lalat loh .
too much thinking till i feel like crying .
this morning mother told me , cik man ( my uncle , father's brother ) , looking for 2-3 worker in his boutique .
not his lah , his a manager there .
boutique jual barang Louis Vuitton like bags , shades , ciggar pipe ?
at hilton i guess .
thats what i heard .
last time he worked at raffles boutique .
maybe now transfered there .
then mother say january or february i can work but must for sure look for babysitter to take care of babygirl .
in another side i was thinking real hard .
even if i were to look for a babysitter to babysit babygirl , i cant spend most my time with her .
perr !
macam nak nangis pe fikir kan perkare ni .
gaji pulak tuh uncle aku kasi baik punye .
baru starting pay sey .
sales for sure will be working 6days per week & opening till closing sey .
by the time dah malam sey aku balik .
pening loh !
what about my babygirl ?
i already told myself in order to spend more time with my daughter while working , by hook or by crook , i have to look for office hour job .
dah lah die takde love from father , tak kan mother die pun nak abai kan die sey .
kesian kan .
another thing that makes me headache is labour time .
my house everyday hard to see my parent at home coz both busy working .
then mother told me , if im home alone , when contraction comes or whatever time parents not home , boleh ke aku handle all by myself ?
take cab go KK by myself , register by myself .
mother also say of course lah if bro at home he can accompany me but can he help ?
does he know how to register & stuff .
adoi ~
coz of all this mess , mother ask me to stay yew tee .
tanak sey aku !
mother say if i stay yew tee , at least my aunt will send me if she's home .
if she's not then can ask my cousin to accompany me .
pun same pe they wont know what to do sey .
ergg ~
pening sey like all i have to think .
betul nye perah otak sey .
susah jugak jadi single parent .
law anak dah besar takpe lah .
got leg to walk & brain to think .
ni baru baby sey .
if only dah nika kan bagus , at least got baby bonus to support my financial for the moment .
ni dah lah tak nika , laki pun tak tanggung , tak tolong pape pun .
$$ hospital , haprak uh .
ape lagi monthly maintenance , $$ pampers & all .
ni pun dengar $$ die nak bikin moto .
perr ~
tak taw pe yang kaw tuh ade anak nak tanggung .
dari $$ tuh kaw buang kat barang yang tak berjantung tuh , kan puas hati give me a helping hand .
haiyo ~
susah lah nak cakap dengan orang yang tak paham ape erti nye anak & amanah dari tuhan .
ni lah susah law dah terlanjur dengan lelaki yang dah balil tapi otak macam small boy .
now i am freaking pissed .
нея ωояδѕ • нзя ѕαγ ♥
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November 2008
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